Oct 29, 2025
Content note: This article discusses topics related to domestic and intimate partner violence, including emotional and physical boundary violations. Please take care while reading. If this topic feels activating, you can pause or skip to the support resources listed below.
Relationships can shift in ways that catch us off guard. What begins as care or attentiveness can, over time, become control, withdrawal, or fear. It can be hard to recognize when changes in a partner’s behaviour may signal more than “stress” or “mood swings.” Sometimes, those changes are early signs of domestic violence: subtle but harmful boundary crossings that erode safety and trust.
Recent data from Statistics Canada (2024) and the Canadian Women’s Foundation (2024) show that intimate partner violence (IPV) continues to rise in Canada. Between 2014 and 2022, IPV rates against women and girls increased by 19%, with similar trends among men and boys. These numbers remind us that violence often begins quietly; with small, repeated violations that can escalate if left unchecked.
From a social work perspective, prevention starts with awareness, accountability, and community connection. Recognizing these early signs can be a life-saving act of care for ourselves and others.
It’s common to explain away anger, silence, or irritability as a “bad day.” But when those moods start shaping your freedom, safety, or choices, the issue is no longer emotional regulation, it’s boundary-breaking.
Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and safety. That includes:
• Emotional boundaries: The ability to express feelings without fear or ridicule.
• Physical boundaries: Feeling secure in your own body and personal space.
• Digital boundaries: Having privacy around phones, messages, and online life.
• Time boundaries: Respecting each person’s time for rest, work, and social connection.
When these boundaries are repeatedly dismissed, minimized, or justified as “just stress,” it’s time to pause and reflect on what’s really happening.
Domestic violence doesn’t always start with physical harm — it often begins with small, persistent acts of control.
You might notice:
• “Checking in” starts to feel like checking up.
• Jealousy turns into monitoring or surveillance.
• Arguments end in stonewalling, guilt-tripping, or fear.
• Yelling, slamming doors, or damaging property becomes part of the pattern.
• You start apologizing for things you didn’t do just to keep the peace.
If you’ve ever thought, “I’ve never seen this side of them before,” it may be your body signalling something that your mind hasn’t named yet.
When early warning signs are ignored, they often intensify. From a therapeutic perspective, this highlights the importance of accountability, intervention, and bystander awareness. Violence typically begins long before physical harm: in moments when someone’s boundaries are repeatedly ignored, tested, or dismissed. Recognizing these patterns is not overreacting; it’s a vital act of protection and self-trust.
If you care about someone who struggles with anger, control, or emotional volatility, it’s natural to want to help. But supporting someone never means absorbing their harm.
You can:
As Bogo (2018) reminds us, effective helping relationships require both empathy and accountability: care that never compromises safety.
If you live in the Barrie or Simcoe County area, local supports are available:
If you ever feel unsafe, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency department.
Change begins with awareness. If something feels off, confusion, fear, or walking on eggshells, trust that instinct. You are not “too sensitive.” You are recognizing a shift that matters.
At VOX Mental Health, our Barrie therapists provide trauma-informed, non-judgmental counselling for individuals who are healing from relationship trauma or rebuilding trust and safety after experiences of control or boundary violations.
While VOX does not offer couples therapy in situations where domestic violence is present, we can support individuals in recognizing patterns, creating safety plans, and accessing the appropriate community resources.
You deserve a relationship, and a life, that honours your safety, boundaries, and peace.
References
Bogo, M. (2018). Social work practice: Integrating concepts, processes, and skills (3rd ed.). Oxford University Press.
Canadian Association of Social Workers. (2020). Code of Ethics. Ottawa, ON: CASW.
Canadian Women’s Foundation. (2024). Gender-based violence statistics and facts. https://canadianwomen.org/the-facts/gender-based-violence/
Statistics Canada. (2024). Victims of police-reported intimate partner violence in Canada by year and sex.https://www.canada.ca/en/women-gender-equality/gender-based-violence/intimate-partner-violence.html
